Havoc at Hogwarts
by Cadringiel
Summary: Jen is a new student with a mysterious past and an attitude that leaves nothing to the imagination. She's a born troublemaker and is toying with the entire school, completely anonymously! Jen is bound to be caught sometime, but after all the mayhem she's
1. The Letter

"So, mom, tell me about your stay at Hogwarts." asked a young 11-year-old girl, looking up at her young mother. She had bright green eyes and pitch-black messy hair.

"It's a very long story, are you sure you want to hear it?" asked the mother.

"Yes!"

"I mean this could take all day to tell, possibly more." she warned.

"Come on, Mom! Tell me about it!" she whined.

"Alright." She sat down in a comfortable chair, sitting her daughter down on the floor beside her. She let out a long breath, preparing to tell her tale.

"I was quite the juvenile delinquent when I was younger. My best years were probably at Hogwarts, but it all started with a letter, just like yours."

* * *

I was in my bathroom brushing my teeth and late for school again. Not like this was anything abnormal, in fact it was as normal as anything. That was why my mom hated it.

"Jenཀ" Mom called from downstairs, "Hurry or you'll be late for school againཀ"

"Yeah, yeah," I grumbled to myself, "What else is new."

"And you have mailཀ"

"What?ཀ"

I was surprised at this because I rarely ever got mail and, when I did, it was usually said in a menacing tone rather than a casual one.(It was usually a complaint from school.)

I ran downstairs after I had finished brushing and grabbed that letter off the table. It was definitely for me, all right. The address fit:

Jennifer Smith

The Messiest Bedroom

91 Oak St.

Oxford, Oxfordshire

I ripped open the letter and read and reread the first line.

Dear Miss Smith,

We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

"Momཀ It says that I've been accepted at some stupid school called Hogwartsཀ" I called to Mom.

"That's wonderfulཀ I was worried that you might not get in due to your, ahem, behavior."

"Wait, mom. You know about this school?" I asked, confused.

"Yes, it's where I went when I was your age."she said, matter-of-factly.

"Then can you answer me one question?"

"Sureཀ"

"Why did give it a name that sounds like a pig covered in warts?"

"Hold your tongue, young ladyཀ"

"Make me."

"I'm taking you to Diagon Alley tomorrow to get your things." she said curtly. "Until then, behave yourself."

"Scout's honor," I said, holding up three fingers.

I grabbed my bag and headed for the door. "Like I'm a scout." I said quietly as I grabbed some instant cement silly string and shoved it in with my homework. Today seemed like it would work out in my favor. It wasn't every day you found out on the last day of school you were a witch. After moving back to England last year, it was the best thing that had happened to me. Something told me that things would only get better.


	2. Diagon Alley

As promised, my mom took me to Diagon Alley in London. It looked really weird. Everyone was wearing robes and those big pointy hats you usually see at Halloween.

First we went to "Madam Malcom's Robes for All Occasions" where I was greeted by some plump short witch with maroon robes. She brought me over to a stool. Slipped a robe over my head and began to pin it to the right length. This girl with bushy brown hair was getting fitted right next to me. She looked like your regular know-it-all geek, and talked like it too.

"Hello!" she said.

"Hey, sup?" I replied.

"Huh?"

"What's up?" I said slowly trying to dictate every syllable so that she could understand.

"Oh, nothing much. Are you muggle-born?"

"Huh? Well, Mom's a witch but I have no idea 'bout my dad." I guessed that muggle-born meant that you had human parents.

"Oh, why not?"

I was liking the girl less and less every second. She talked too much and asked way too many questions.

"'Cause I have no idea where my dad is. He left my mom 'fore I was born."

"Oh. Sorry I asked, I didn't know." she seemed a bit embarrassed, like she thought I might get all emotional and start crying all over her shoulder.

"Don't be." my voice was flat and expressionless because, since I had never even met the man why should I feel bad about him not being there?

The plump little witch had finished fitting my robe so I stepped down, eager to get away from that girl. She, on the other hand, had other plans.

"My name's Hermione Granger. How about you?" she called after me.

"Jen Smith. Err, it was nice talking to you Hermy." I answered, quickly thinking of the most girly nickname I could think of. She obviously didn't like the name at all. I saw her frown through the window as a rejoined my mother.

* * *

"Mom, will you take me to Diagon Alley?" the small girl asked, expectantly.

"Of course, dear." replied the mother. "Now, try not to interrupt."

* * *

"Where to next?" said my mom, rubbing her hands together like someone ready to get to work.

"Well, what do we need?"

"We need your wand and a pet. While you were in the shop, I picked up your basic potion supplies and you spell books so we don't have to worry about those."

"What kind of pet can I get?" I asked excitedly. I hoped my mom would let me get some cool snake or some magical creature that would help in my pranks.

"An owl, a cat, or a toad. Toads went out of fashion years ago, and you're allergic to cats, so it'll have to be an owl."

I looked disappointedly at Mom. An owl? I couldn't believe it! Carry your mail and be your friend. I could train it to chase after my victims and distract them so they wouldn't be able to see where they were going. That might work. But how long would that take? Might as well look for one that would be loyal and obedient.

We entered "Eyelop's Owl Emporium" and I immediately was taken aback at how many different kinds of owls there were. There were tiny, hyperactive ones that could fit into the palm of your hand, giant Great Horned Owls, common Barred Owls, sharp-beaked Burrowing Owls, black and white Great Grey Owls, cute Screech owls, and Eagle Owls. I decided on a Great Horned Owl I named Prankster. I decided that it would be very common a school so noone would know it was mine. It also was the biggest and would be a sure-fire distraction.

For a wand we went to "Olivander's". The shop was comprised of an antique desk with a bell on top, a spindly wooden chair, and shelves to the ceiling piled high with slender boxes that, I guessed wildly, contained wands. It seemed like noone had been here for at least five years or long enough to collect a layer of dust on everything. My mom rang the bell and a creepy man with unblinking eyes appeared out of nowhere.

"Ah, Jessica. I wondered when you would be bringing your daughter here. Unicorn hair, 11 and a half inches, yew, good for charms work, am I correct?"

"As always Mr. Olivander. This is Jennifer. She's just starting Hogwarts this year. It's a marvel she got in." replied my mom, who evidently was friendly with Mr. Olivander.

"Well Jennifer, what shall we start you out with today?"asked Mr. Olivander.

"First of all, my name is Jen and I would like to start with something good and powerful." I retorted, hoping that he would get my nickname.

"Well then 'Jen', try this one," he said bringing down one of the boxes from the shelve near the desk, "dragon heartstring, 13 inches, ebony."

I took the wand unsure of what I was supposed to do with it. I decided to wave it at something breakable and it broke. Evidently, that was a sign that the wand was the wrong one because the old geezer snatched it out of my hand and handed me a new one.

"No, well, let's try this one! Dragon heartstring, 12 and a half inches, oak."

I took the new wand and tried it. I had barely lifted it when this one too was taken from me. I tried another wand ( Phoenix feather, 11 inches, cherry) and another ( Unicorn hair, 13 and a half inches, mahogany) and another until the spindly old chair was piled high with used wands. After about the hundredth try, I finally seemed to have found one that suited me.

It was a handsome wand, Phoenix feather, 13 inches, and some apparently rare wood called jarah. It was especially powerful. When I took it in my hand, my fingers got all warm from the wand. I had taken it up in the air and brought it swishing down, leaving a foul-smelling green fog in it's wake. "Very useful," I thought as my mom payed for the wand.

It had been an interesting trip to the wizarding world. I couldn't wait, for once in my lifetime, to get to my new school.

* * *

"Wow, Mom! So there really are magic wands?" the small girl asked, in awe.

"Yes, there are. I still have mine up in my room." answered the mother.

"So what I _was_ school like?" she questioned, eagerly.

"Patience, my child. This is a very long story."


	3. Platform 9 34

The rest of the summer was pretty fun. Mom helped me out by telling me the major points the wizarding world's history. She told me a lot but I didn't pay attention to most of it. I only remember the key points: Lord Voldemort's name is never spoken because everyone is too wimpy to say it. You-know-who was the most powerful dark wizard that ever lived because he gained power by persuading a lot of people to join him. Some dork named Harry Potter defeated him when he was only a baby and is called "the boy who lived." Witch burning was completely pointless, and Albus Dumbledore is the headmaster of Hogwarts. That's all I'll need. If for some reason I need to know more, I have the book "A History of Magic," as a source for further information.

The day before I was supposed to take the train to school, my mom said that she would "see me on to the train" for fear that I wouldn't be able to get on to the platform. Was she crazy?ཀ I had gotten on to the train tones of times before. What would be so different? I argued this point with her for about half an hour. We stopped because she showed me the ticket had "Platform 9 ¾" and, since I had never heard of such a platform at Kings Cross Station and I actually wanted to get to school, I agreed to let her take me. I would obviously suffer the embarrassment of having her with me, but it was a price I was willing to pay just this once.

* * *

"Wow, there's a platform 9 ¾?" the young daughter asked.

"Yes, it's a magical platform." assured the mother.

"Cool! How is it magical?"

"I'm getting there, I'm getting there." said the mother, before continuing.

* * *

The morning went as smoothly as it could have been, which was pretty rough.

"Jenཀ You'd better get up right nowཀ You should have been up by now, knowing how excited you are. How could you sleep this late? I can not believe youཀ This is absolutely absurdཀ ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME?ཀ?ཀ?"

My mom bellowed this in my ear at (get this) 4:00 in the morningཀ Excited, sure, but she should know that I could never get so excited about school, especially one with a uniform, that I would stay up all nightཀ And she's the one talking about it being absurd.

"Five more minutes, and it's 4:00 in the morning so how can I listen to you?" I replied tiredly.

"Well, you shall have your five minutes, but no more. I want you to clean up this mess that you call a room and make sure your uniform is folded neatly and in your trunk along with all of your things for school." She said firmly.

The five minutes passed in what seemed like a second. Too earlyཀ I asked for five more but Mom wouldn't hear of it.

I dragged myself out of bed groping, half asleep, for something to wear other than my uniform (I would change on the train). I tried my best to grab everything off the floor and shove it somewhat organized on to shelves either in my closet or in my room. If it didn't look like something and alien from Mars could somehow call neat my mom would make me do it all over again while looming over my shoulder. I had to keep all of my school stuff out so that I could, again, shove it somewhat neatly into my trunk and be ready in time to go back to bed for a few hours before I needed to leave.

My mom, of course, would not allow it. At 5:00, once everything was in place, I threw my tired body into bed and was almost asleep when she woke me up. Then she made me have breakfast, brush my teeth, brush my hair (a lengthy process because it was so thick and long,) and go over some of the info that I would need to know at school.

"Now remember, what do you get when you mix asphodel and an infusion of wormwood?"

"A sleeping draft so powerful that it is known as the draft of death." I recited.

"Good. Now, who defeated You-know-who?" she continued.

"Lord Voldemort was defeated by Harry Potter or the boy who lived." My mother flinched slightly.

"Good, and don't say the name."

"What, Voldemort?" I retorted.

"Yes that nameཀ" she hissed.

We went on like this, her question, my answer, her question, my answer, until I got it all right and it was time to leave for Kings Cross.

Kings Cross was your regular train station and I couldn't see anything weird that would keep me from getting on the train like usual, except that there was no platform 9 ¾. Mom informed me that all I had to do to get to the desired platform was to walk strait through the barriers between platforms 9 and 10. It looked pretty solid to me. I figured it couldn't hurt that much, so I ran at the barrier rolling my trolley in front. I ran right throughཀ It was like it was a holographic wall or somethingཀ Very high tech. I decided that the wizards couldn't be all that bad if they had this kind of technology.

Mom followed almost immediately and we were on our way. In front of us was a scarlet steam engin (so much for high tech) and a hundred other students trying to get on to the train. Some were already in their uniforms, but not many. I ran along the train looking for an empty compartment. I found one about halfway along and lifted my trunk onto the luggage rack. The seats were moderately comfortable and I settled in all right.

Unluckily, that girl Hermy found me.

"Mind if I sit with you?"

She didn't give me a choice and sat down as I was about so say that, yes, I did mind. She was wearing a hand-knitted sweater and some geans. She didn't have a pet, I assumed, because none came with her. I hoped that she had met some other friend and would move in with them soon. I doubted that though.

"Could you help me prepare? I've already read all of the textbooks through, but I wondered if you could quiz me so that I am absolutely ready for the first day. Let's start with '1,000 Magical Herbs and Fungi'."

Again, she didn't give me a choice. This was probably part of her strategy, you know, act like you're asking someone their permission when you're not. She seems too like my mom for comfort. I continued to quiz her until she, luckily, found out that some forgetful boy named Nevil Longbottom had lost his toad and set off with him to make others look for it. Then I was alone in my compartment, which was too boring. So, after a few minutes, I set off to look for someone to bug.

I set off along the train looking for open compartment doors. There was one not far away and a drawling boy's voice was leaking from it.

"My father had never approved fo Dumbledore, you know. Father always said that he should only let pure bloods into the school. I quite agree. None of this half-blood nonsense for me. All mudbloods if you ask me. Father always said ..."

"Aw, do you run to daddy for everything?" I interrupted in a babyish voice. Now that I was nearer the compartment I could see who was inside it. The one doing all the talking was a boy with brand-new everything. Probably a stuck-up jerk. They were the easiest victims, quick to anger. This one had sleek blond hair, a pale face and grey eyes and seemed to be accompanied by two body guards. They were both big, very muscular and also very stupid by the looks of them. They would fall easy with a good punch to the stomach or fall backwards with a hammer-fist to the nose. Not a threat.

"No. I don't." he replied bitterly. "Do you?"

"Wouldn't if I could. Don't bother asking 'why can't you' because you won't get an answer."

* * *

"Wow, you were pretty mean back then." said the young daughter, scoldingly.

"Yes, I know. I was simply bored, and had nothing better to do, I suppose." she answered whimsically.

* * *

"Ahem, Draco Malfoy. These are my friends, Crabb and Goyle. Who are you?"

"Jen, and don't you mean body guards, 'cause there's no other reason a couple of buffoons would hang out with you." Crabb and Goyle cracked their muscles menacingly, but they didn't scare me.

"Watch your mouth." he spat.

"Make me."

All I got in reply to that was a dagger glare. I was doing good so far.

"What house do you think you'll be in?" He was trying to keep the conversation on a subject that was least prone to insults.

"Don't care." Ianswered, indifferently."You?"

"I hope I'm in Slytherin. My whole family's been in Slytherin for centuries. But anything's better than Hufflepuff. My father thinks people in Hufflepuff are a lot of duffers, don't you?"

"Well then, I'm afraid that you will most definitely break the family line and be in Hufflepuff. Duffers, you say?" I said, mockingly."Sounds a lot like you, only you forgot to put in the description snobbish, ugly, and full of themselves."

I said this casually rather than angrilyto add injury to the insult. I definitely saw a more than a tint of pink in his pale cheeks.

"Get outཀ"he stapped, "If I never see your face again it'll be too soon."

He jumped to his feet, his two buffoons stumbling clumsily to join him. He was completely red in the face now.

I gave all three of them a sharp punch to the stomach. They collapsed immediately onto the seats. What wimps. I slipped out of the compartment and decided to add a final last touch.

"I greatly enjoyed talking to you, but I am afraid I must take my leave." I said elegantly. "NOTཀ" I blurted, crudely."See ya later, geeks."

I slammed the compartment door shut behind me. That was fun, and too easy. I hope I left the right impression.

There seemed to be plenty of time left, so I hurried down the train, looking for another open door, and another victim.

* * *

**Okay. I know I haven't given the readers much of a physical description of Jen. Here it is: she has long, thick brown hair, bright green eyes, and an average body for the age of 11.**

**Disclaimer: All characters in this story are the property of J.K. Rowling, not me. Don't sue me, I'm an innocent child of 14ཀ Maybe not so innocent, but innocent of this anyways.**


	4. The Boy Who Lived

There was a door ajar not that far to the front of the train. I decided to stay a little ways away, but still within earshot. That way I could tell who was in there, a geek that would be easily annoyed, a possible friend and cohort, or someone that needs closer investigation.

As I got to the desired spot, I heard two voices, boys, joking merrily. Needs further investigation. As I approached the compartment, I saw that one boy had flaming red hair, lots of freckles, and a cage containing a fat rat. The other had green eyes, like mine, black hair, a snowy owl, and the tip of something that looked like a scar poking out of his bangs.

* * *

"Wow, a scar!" interrupted the young daughter. "How could someone get a scar all the way up there on his forehead?"

"He was cursed." answered the mother, making her voice sound like she was telling some horror story rather than her adventures.

"By who?" she asked eagerly. The mother leaned back in her chair looking at her young enthusiastic child with a taunting look in her eyes.

"Do you really want to know?"

"Yes, yes!" the girl screeched anxiously.

"Then you'll just have to wait." said the mother stubbornly. The girl at her feet began to wine.

"Aww, mom,"

"Do you want to hear the rest of this story?" she reprimanded.

"Yes." admitted the small girl in defeat.

"Then be patient." the mother said authoritatively, before continuing.

* * *

"Hey you guys. What 'cha talk'n 'bout?" I asked casually.

"Huh? Oh, nothing." said the boy with black hair.

"So, what are your names?" I said, trying to start an innocent-sounding conversation.

"I'm Ron Weasly and this is my friend Harry Potter." said the boy with red hair, Ron.

"Well, well. Harry Potter. So, you're the one who defeated Lord Voldemort?" I said, sounding impressed.Ron winced.

"Yeah, that's me. Ron why do you keep wincing at Voldemort's name?" Harry asked.

"Everyone does. Everyone's still scared of him." he answered, a small shiver coursing up his spine.

"Uh huh," I said skeptically. "So Harry, do you remember your parents at all?"

"No, I was only a baby."

"And how do you feel about that? Miss them at all? What's it like not to have both parents?" I said this acting like one of those psychiatrists.

"I don't miss themall that muchbecause I never knew them. I guess I don't like not having parents 'cause I have to live with the Dursleys." he seemed like he was getting a little bit annoyed with all my questions.

I didn't like this much. This was a new type. I thought that acting the psychiatrist would annoy him but I wasn't sure. He wasn't a snob like Malfoy that I could insult or a geek like Hermy that I could pick on. I didn't want to give the wrong impression either. I decided to act just plain mean. Not preppie mean, the other kind of mean.

"That makes it sound like you don't like your parents at all." I said, in a totally new tone.

"That's not true." he said, getting a little defensive.

"Well it sure sounds like it." I started to do a mock imitation fo him. "Oh, look at me! I don't care about my parents at all. I hate them. The only good they would have done if they were alive is to get me away from the Dursleys."

"STOP THAT!" he yelled.(Seems really touchy on that subject.) He and Ron were on their feet.

"Make me."I retorted.I wasn't scared of him, or his friend. They were even wimpier than those two bodyguards.

"Okay, I will." said Ron, advancing on me. He tried to punch me in the nose, but I ducked and gave him a sharp elbow in the gut. It knocked the wind out of him and I shut the door before that Potter boy put himself in a position to get hurt.

Man this train is slow! I've still got at least an hour left! There's another compartment open a ways down the train. Better check out who else there is to bother.


	5. Rivals are Born

This is a mini-chapter, but the next one will be longer, I promise.

* * *

I went down the train away from the driver. I figured whoever was ahead had to be older than me. That didn't matter. I was an expert at annoying people, whatever their age.

I heard two similar male voices leaking through the crack in the compartment door. Their voices were somewhat like Ron's, but a bit deeper. They seemed to be talking about something mischievous, or confidential. Sounded like people that I might want to get to know. We might be able to work together.

"So, when Mrs. Norris comes down the corridor to Moaning Myrtles bathroom, why is she there?" said one boy.

"She is chasing a live mouse that is.." said the other boy.

"Going after cheese in the broom closet. You will be.."

"Hiding behind the suit of armor by the door." They were finishing each others sentences seamlessly, as though they had done so for years.

These guys seemed to be expertsat this. They must have been going over a plan for a start-the-school-year-off-with-a-little-mayhem thing. One of my favorites. These seemed like possible colleagues.

"Then what?" I interrupted, opening the compartment door with a bang. The two whirled around. They were two boys, identical twins, with flamingred hair and a mess offreckles. They seemed oddly familiar.

"Do you guys have a brother, or something?'Ienquired,remembering the other red-head I had seen so far."In the first year?"

"Ah! It seems she has met our youngest brother Ron!" said the first twin.

"So, what are your guys's names?" I asked.

"This is Fred, and I'm George. We're the trouble-makers-in-chief around here." said George, previously referred to as the other boy.

* * *

"Fred and George Weasly?" asked the daughter in awe. "You mean you talked to the owners of the joke shop that put Zonco's out of business?"

"The one and only Fred and George." the mother replied triumphantly. "They were so much fun to be around." she said, reminiscing slightly. Staring off into space for a moment, she was brought back down to earth violently by her daughter's anxious plea.

"So what happened next?"

* * *

"And you are . . ." prompted Fred.

"Jen. Soooooo, whatcha plan'n?" I asked. I was interested in what these two had in store for the whole of Hogwarts. I also wondered if they were as good as they said they were.

"Well, it has a little to do with kidnaping Filch's cat, Mrs. Norris. Filch is the caretaker at Hogwarts. He's in love with his cat, treats her like a human and she helps him patroll the hallways. He will give you the worst detentions you could dream of, so you want to stay clear of him." said Fred.

"Ugly gitt." muttered George.

"Anyways, it's a very complicated plan, so, if you get lost or want us to repeat something, just let us know."They were treating me like a child! I had concocted a fair many complicated plans for trouble-making, so I was deeply insulted.. I didn't show it though.

"Don't worry about me." I said, with a smile that was fake, but not obviously so.

"Well, it goes like this. Fred here gets a mouse from somewhere . . ."

"Isn't that risky? What if he can't find a mouse?" I interrupted.

"Don't interrupt! There are a few things that have something to do with chance." said George, irritated.

"Then there is a large chance that it won't work." I retorted.I was throwing these two off balance. They obviously weren't used to people questioning their plans.

"Just listen to the plan and _don't _interrupt."answered George angrily. They were getting annoyed. And here I thought it might be hard.

"Well, I get a mouse and wait with it at the end of the corridor towards Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. Moaning Myrtle is an overly-sensitive ghost who haunts a girl's bathroom." Fred explained.

"Meanwhile, George has nicked some of the best cheese from the kitchens. Mrs. Norris always takes the same route around the corridors. It took us a long time to memorize it, but it has been worth it on many occasions." said Fred, pridefully.

"So it helps you make sure she's not around while you're preparing a trap or something like that." I cut in.

"Yes, but just don't interrupt." said Fred, exasperated .

"Anyways, I hide the cheese in a broom closet near the end of the corridor and wait behind the suit of armor near the door." continued George.

"As soon as she gets near to me, I let the mouse go. The mouse runs for the cheese and is chased by Mrs. Norris."

"When Mrs. Norris is in the broom closet, I shut the door on her and she is trapped!" finished George. They were both grinning smugly, as if saying "Isn't it great!". My face was the opposite. It defiantly answered a big flat "no".

"That's it? _That_'s your master plan? Well, I guess it's good." I said, in a "maybe" tone."Talk to ya later." I slipped an old grubby piece of parchmentup my sleeve quickly as I turned to leave.

* * *

"Mommy," the young daughter interrupted, "you stole . . ."

"They didn't need it." she said defensively.

"Need what?" asked the curious girl.

"You'll see, you'll see." she answered. The girl looked at her pleadingly. "Not telling." pouted the woman.

"All right." consented the girl, laughing a little. "Just tell me what happened next."

* * *

Glancing back, I noticed the twins looking somewhat dejected and hurt. They recovered quickly, though. They seemed arrogant. _That_ would have to be remedied. Trouble-makers-in-chief, eh? I would begin to plan an even better trick than what they had planned. I decided to try out my new powers. Theirs was pathetic, to much chance involved. I would execute my plan and foil theirs, without their noticing.

I spent the rest of the train ride there planning. Well, some of the time planning, but most of the time training Prankster. He was going to be a key part in it.

* * *

"Part in what, part in what?" asked the anxious girl, practically jumping out of her seat.

"I'll tell you soon." answered the mother. "But first, it's time for lunch." Her daughter looked up at her, begging with her eyes to hear more.

"You have to eat." she replied to the unspoken plea. "I'll make anything you want." she said, getting up and walking to the kitchen. The girl sat indecisively, thinking. Finally she followed her mother's path into the smoothly tiled kitchen.

"Can I have cake?" she asked hopefully. The woman chuckled at her cleverness.

"No, you can't have cake. How about some macaroni and cheese?" she suggested.

"Oh, alright." she accepted. "But can I have some Honeyduke's chocolate for desert?"

"Sure, honey." said the mother lovingly, starting to prepare the meal.


	6. Who Did It?

**Let's find out what Jen has in store for _her_ starting off the school year.**

**Disclaimer: This stuff belongs to J.K. Rowling and not me, no matter how much I may want it.**

* * *

The bowls were set out on the kitchen counter, full of steaming macaroni. Stabbing spoons into the hot food and setting out napkins, the mother sat beside her daughter, placing cups of milk in front of both bowls. After taking a sip of milk, the daughter, who had waited for much longer than she desired, asked the question that had been burning in her mind for the past ten minutes.

"So what happened next?"

"You really won't wait, will you?" asked the mother, doubtfully. The young girl shook her head, her black hair flopping messily about her face.

"Very well, just until the macaroni cools, okay?" she said, before launching into another segment of her tale.

* * *

Once in my robes, I left the train, trusting that my training would be enough. While the workers were busy taking the trunks and animals off the train, I stuck around near Prankster.

I surveyed the scenery. There was a large stone castle across a glassy blue lake. It looked like it had been there since the beginning of time itself, as it seemed, wizards and witches had. All those fairy tales from my earlier years and the creatures in them were seeming less and less impossible. Were there really giant spiders? Unicorns? Mermaids? Dragons? Centaurs? Snakes more than 50 ft long? It seemed that almost anything was possible in this world. Was immortality one of them?

I was abruptly brought out of my musings by a booming voice.

"First years, over here!" called a giant man with a lantern over the heads of the crowd. All of my future classmates and victims went toward the voice. Once I was sure all the bags were off the train and all the first years were with the giant, I whispered the signal to Prankster and hurried off toward the lantern with the others.

"Now, my name's Hagrid. I'm the keeper of keys an' grounds 'round here. It's custom tha' the first years' travel by boat across the lake to the castle. Get in! Three to a boat! Hurry up!"

I got in with Draco and Crabb, who stayed together at the opposite end of the boat from me. They must have learned their lesson to stay away from me. The boats propelled themselves across the lake. I checked, but there were no motors. Was perpetual motion possible?

I looked back over at the station that we had come from. All I saw was a flutter of wings toward the castle gates. It had begun.

* * *

"What had begun, what happened?" interrupted the small girl.

"You'll find out soon enough, but I won't tell you if you don't start eating." answered the mother defiantly. Sulkily, the girl turned and began eating spoonfuls of food slowly as she listened eagerly to the story.

* * *

When we reached the castle, many things seemed like they were out of order and not where they should be. There were books and papers lying on the ground. In some places, there were broken jars near a foot-deep hole. Occasionally, you might see a toad hop by or a cat slink past you.

It seems that I had trained Prankster well. He had successfully let himself and all the other animals out of their cages ane led them all up to the castle. Then, somehow instructed the other owls to attack the people in the halls. The cats and owls would have eaten all the mice in the castle by now. If my luck had held up, he would have gone to the potions room and broken all the containers and scattered them about the castle as well as hidden a few trunks in unlikely places. It would take them years to sort it all out.

We were met at the stairs by a stern old lady who, at first glance, seemed someone that you would not cross or else. She had black hair that was pulled back into a tight bun, but there were a few hairs out of place which made it seem like she wasn't having the best day of her life. She was dressed in robes of emerald green. Seemed a bit showoffey to me.

"I am Professor M. McGonagall. I hope that you will not judge the castle yet. We have had a bit of an accident. I am glad that none of you were involved or here to see the chaos." I didn't voice the fact that I would have loved to see the chaos that I had created. It was good to see the results of hard work before your eyes. I supposed I would have to get used to it though, if I was to stay the secret chief-trouble-maker.

"Follow me."

She led us into a large room made of cobblestones. I observed just then that that was what the castle was made of. I hadn't noticed before because I had been to busy admiring my work.

"Now, wait here. I will come and get you when it is time to be sorted. Each of you will be sorted into one of the three houses, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, Griffindor, and Slytherin. While you are here, your house will be something like your family. You will sit with your house at meals, have classes with your house, and spend free time in your house common room. Also, while you are here, your achievements will gain house points while any rule breaking will lose house points. The house with the most points at the end of the year will be awarded the house cup."

A small midget wizard with wispy white hair came in and whispered something to Professor McGonagall. She nodded in an exhausted manner.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go take care of something that seems to have come up in the potions room."

Ah, things are working out better than I expected.

* * *

"Mom, what house were you in?" asked the girl curiously.

"I'm getting there." said the mother impatiently, taking a bite of food.

"Can't you tell me now?" she pressed.

"Patience is a virtue you need to work on, young lady." said the mother, scolding her daughter.

* * *

The rest of the students huddled together in one large clump in the center of the room. What a bunch of wimps. Most of the first years were trying to decide what they might be asked to do to be sorted. Some thought you had to wrestle a troll while others thought you would need to know spells. Meanwhile, I squeezed my way into a corner and relaxed.

I was almost dozing off when it felt like my entire body had been plunged into a tub of ice cold water. Not the most pleasant wake up call, let me assure you.

"I still say we should give Peeves a chance." said a fat little transparent monk.

"My dear frier, a chance is the last thing I would give Peeves. He's always messing things up" said a transparent man, the one that had gone right through me.

Ghosts. The rest of the first years were terrified. Pansies. I had had one walk right through me and I wasn't scared!

* * *

"Ghosts! There really are ghosts at Hogwarts?" interrupted the young daughter.

"Yes, dear. Some nicer than others." affirmed the mother, nodding.

"And can they really walk through walls?" she asked, awestruck.

"Walk? Darling, they _float_ through walls."

"Wow." The girl sat back in her chair, then moved to wash out her empty bowl in the sink. After gulping the rest of her milk, the mother followed, rinsing out both bowls and placing them in the sink for later washing. After drying off her hands, the mother allowed herself to be led to the large armchair in the living room, near the fireplace.

A warm fire crackled in the cozy room, and the mother sat down on the comfy chair, setting her daughter on a fluffy cushion on the carpeted floor. Once they were both settled the mother continued her story.

* * *

"Look here! The first years are waiting to be sorted!" said the translucent man.

"Hope to see you in Hufflepuff!" said the monk, waving cheerily at the terrified students.

"We are ready for you now." Professor McGonagall said. Shehad reentered the atrium without anyone noticing.

All I remembered from the incident with the ghosts was that the monk was from Hufflepuff, a _very_ unpleasant wake-up call, and that some ghost named Peeves was a troublemaker.

We entered the Great Hall. It was a sight to see. There were four tables, one for each of the houses, and one at the end for the staff. The hall was illuminated by hundreds of floating candles. I looked up at the ceiling . . . was it the ceiling? Or did the hall just open up to the sky? Hermy answered my question for me, what a show-off. She said it was bewitched to look like the sky. Figures.

McGonagall brought out a three-legged stool and an old hat. Everyone was looking at it, so I did too. Suddenly, a rip at the brim opened like a mouth and the hat began to sing.

_Oh, you may not think I'm pretty_

_but don't judge on what you see._

_I'll eat myself if you can find _

_a smarter hat than me._

_You can keep your bowlers black,_

_your top hats sleek and tall,_

_for I'm the Hogwarts Sorting Hat,_

_and I can cap them all!_

_There's nothing hidden in your head_

_the sorting hat can't see,_

_so try me on and I will tell you,_

_where you aught to be_.

_You might belong in Griffindor,_

_where dwell the brave at heart,_

_their daring nerve and chivalry_

_set Griffindors apart._

_You might belong in Hufflepuff,_

_Where they are just and loyal_,

_those patient Hufflepuffs are true,_

_and unafraid of toil._

_Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,_

_If you've a ready mind,_

_where those of wit and learning,_

_will always find their kind._

_Or perhaps in Slytherin,_

_you'll make your real friends,_

_those cunning folk use any means,_

_to achieve their ends._

_So put me on, _

_don't be afraid,_

_and don't get in a flap._

_You're in safe hands,_

_though I have none,_

_for I'm a thinking cap!_

The whole hall burst into applause, my self included. I had never seen a batty old hat talk, let alone sing! It would take me a little longer than I expected to get used to the wizarding world.

"Form a line in front of the hat, and I will call you up alphabetically. When I call your name, come and sit on the stool. I will then place the sorting hat on your head and you will be sorted into your houses."

This was a lot better than what most of the others had thought would happen. Ron was angry at his twin brothers for telling him they had to wrestle a troll, Harry looked relieved that he didn't have to perform any sort of trick, and Malfoy looked normal. His father had probably told him everything. What a Daddy's boy.

"Hannah Abbot!" A pink-faced girl with sandy blond hair stepped out of line three people in front of me. She put on the hat, which went down over her eyes and sat on the stool. After a moment ...

"Hufflepuff!" shouted the hat.

Looking relieved, she went and sat down at the table on the right, amid loud cheers. That monk looked happy to see her as well.

"Susan Bones!"

"Hufflepuff!" shouted tha hat again. Susan ran off to sit next to Hannah.

"Terry Boat!"

"Ravenclaw!"

The sorting continued in this matter. Booorrriiiiinngg. I woke up for that kid Malfoy. The hat had barley touched his head when it shouted "Slytherin!" The table on the far right cheered loudly. Again, I woke up for Potter. There was a long pause before the hat shouted "Griffindor!" The table on the far left cheered loudly, louder than any other cheer so far. The Weasly twins were shouting "We got Potter! We got Potter!"I was close to dozing in place when . . .

"Jennifer Smith!"

I stood up and went to the stool. After I sat down, I felt the hat drop over my eyes and heard a little voice in my head.

"Well well, let me see here, hmm, yes, a great deal of courage, I see, but a certain love of mischief, not a bad mind either..."

"Who are you and what are you doing in my head?" I said to the voice.

"I'm the sorting hat and I'm looking for information to try to place you." said the hat, in a bit of an annoyed tone.

"Well, that's nice and all, but GET OUT!" I shut my brain to the hat. No one is looking in my head unless I want them to. It's just a matter of principle. No one learns anything about me unless he or she is my friend and has earned my full trust.

"Slytherin!" shouted the hat.

* * *

"Slytherin, Mom? Did you know that all the . . ." the girl was cut off by her mother's recitation of the well-known fact.

"All the supporters of the Dark Lord were from Slytherin, I know. But he's gone now, and all his supporters are locked away safely in Azkaban. May I continue?" The girl nodded.

* * *

I walked over to the table on the far right and sat next to a slender girl with short black hair and pale blue eyes. The whole table was cheering for me except three boys, Malfoy, Crabb, and Goyle. They just glared at me from across the table.

I smiled sweetly at them. Malfoy glared even more evilly and the bodyguards cracked their knuckles. I raised an eyebrow at them and Crabb looked ready to stand up.

"Hello, I'm Ann Putnam." said the girl next to me. She was obviously trying to stop a confrontation from happening. I decided it was a good idea not to draw attention to myself. My workings in the castle had to be secret.

"Hi, I'm Jen Smith." Ann stuck out her hand, waiting for me to shake it. I did so politely, but grudgingly. I was saved from conversation by Ron getting sorted.

"Hold on, I know him." I said to Ann.

"Griffindor!" shouted the hat.

"Yeah, the whole Weasly family's in Griffindor." said Ann.

"Must be a courageous lot, then." I replied.

"Well, not really. Fred and George aren't afraid of detentions and such, but that's not much. Percy, the oldest one in school, is a real goody-two-shoes. Don't know about that new boy Ron, though. Anyways, the two oldest are definitely brave because one's a curse breaker for Gringots, the wizard bank, and the other's a dragon tamer."

"A dragon tamer!" I said, in awe. I guess dragons are real.

"Yeah. It sounds glamourous, but I heard it's a lot of hard work.." I decided that she was okay, not going to be a cohort in any plans, but not the but of any of my jokes.

By that time the sorting had finished, and I was starving.

A man with long silver hair a beard long enough to tuck into his belt stood up from the middle of the staff table. He had half-moon glasses, which I thought looked rather geeky, and twinkling blue eyes. I guessed that he had to be Albus Dumbledore, the Headmaster of Hogwarts.

"Before we begin our banquet, I would like to say a few words and here they are. Needwick, bludder, odment, tweek, thank you."

Everyone in the hall clapped. I didn't know if I should laugh or clap or what.

"Erm, is Dumbledore crazy?" I asked Ann.

"Huh? Oh, well, he's a brilliant man, but he does do some pretty crazy things. The straight answer to your question is yes."

"Great." I was about to continue wondering aloud what on earth the school would be like when ...

"FOOD!" I exclaimed,myeyes eating up everything around me.Food had suddenly appeared everywhere. There was everything and anything you would like to eat, except pizza. I guess wizards don't like pizza. But there was roast beef, chicken, mashed potatoes, steak, salad, peas, corn, etc. It was all delicious.

Everyone around me was talking about one thing or another, but I was too busy eating to notice.

I ate and ate and ate, more than I should have actually eaten, but the food was just too good to stop! Once everyone had had their fill, the food all disappeared and left the golden plates and goblets sparkling clean.

"How the ..." I would have continued voicing my amazement if the desserts hadn't appeared suddenly in the same fashion. There were tons of sweets and candies. I had no idea what they all were, but they looked good enough to at least try them. Once again, delicious.

"I'm going to have the biggeststomach ache tomorrow, but it'll be worth it." I thought.

Once again, everything disappeared leaving the dishes and goblets looking as if nobody had eaten or drunk from them.

Dumbledore stood up and the hall went silent again.

"Just a few more words, now that we're all fed and watered. I have a few start-of-term notices to give you. First years should note that the forest on the grounds is forbidden to all pupils and some of our older students would do well to remember that too." He glanced at the Weasly twins before continuing. "I have also been asked by Mr. Filch, the caretaker, to remind you that no magic should be used between classes. Quiddich trials will be held in the second week of the term, anyone interested in playing for their house team should notify Madam Hooch. And finally, I must tell you that this year the third floor corridor on the right hand side is out of bounds to anyone who does not wish to die a most painful death." I laughed at this, but I was one of the few people who did. The only people I thought would die a painful death would be Malfoy or one of his body guards if they crossed on the wrong side of my path.

"He's not serious, is he?" Iwhispered to Ann.

"Must be, 'cause he usually gives a reason for things. I dunno, he could just be trying to scare students away from there 'cause there's something he doesn't want us to see." she replied.

"Now, before we go to bed, let us sing the school song."Dumbledore gave his wand a little flick and a long golden ribbon came out of the end and twisted itself into words.

"Everyone pick their favorite tune, and off we go."

The school sang in terrible discord:

_Hogwarts, Hogwarts, hoggy-wotty-Hogwarts teach us something please._

_Whether we be old and bald or young with scabby knees._

_Our heads could do with filling with some interesting stuff,_

_for now they're bare and full of air, dead flies and bits of fluff._

_So teach us things worth knowing, bring back what we forgot._

_Just do your best, we'll do the rest and learn until our brains all rot._

Everyone ended at different times, and it sounded terrible. I chose the tune of "Yankee Doodle" because it was the only thing I could think of. Upon further reflection, I shouldn't have sung at all because, in my opinion, I couldn't carry a tune even if you gave me a bucket. The Weasly twins ended last, singing to a slow funeral march. Dumbledore conducted their last few lines and, when they were finished, he was one of those who clapped loudest.

"Ah, music." he said, whiping a tear from his eye."A magic beyond all we teach here. And now, before we go to bed, I would like to address the accident that happened earlier this evening. I believe we have a good lead as to who did it," his eyes flashed at the Weasly twins, "but if anyone has any information as to the culprit, please see myself or any of the teachers before you go to bed."

The opportunity was too good to pass up. I went over to Dumbledore. I was going to tell him some of what the twins had told me about their plan.

"Excuse me, Professor?" I said politely to the old man.

"Yes? And who would you be?" he asked, equally polite and kind.

"I'm Jen Smith, a new Slytherin. I think I know who might have caused the accident." I answered, in as innocent a tone as I could muster.

"Well Jen, please, tell me what you know."

"I was wandering the train on the way here and I happened to overhear, well actually, the Weasly twins told me that they were planning a little mayhem to start off the school year. I don't remember exactly what they said the plan was, but it definitely had something to do with animals." I said. I hadn't said anything untrue, had I? This was proving to be just too easy.

"Ah, thank you Jen. I will investigate those two carefully, seeing as they were the original suspects. It seems that you have proved that they were indeed who did it. I thank you again." Dumbledore's kind eyes blinked at me, and I saw he had believed my story.

He smiled at me and I smiled back. It was very hard to not make the smile seem forced or evil, but I believe it was good.

"Minerva?" he called to McGonagall, "Will you be kind enough to, ahem, catch the Weasly twins on their way out? This nice girl here has just tipped me off that they were behind it as we suspected. I trust you, as head of Griffindor House, to deal with them."

"I see. Thank you dear." She waved at me before hurrying after the Griffindors.

"This is way too easy." I muttered to myself as I hurried after Ann and the rest of the first years.

* * *

"Mom, you told on them for what you did?" the daughter said, shocked.

"I warned you I was a delinquent at your age." she answered, knowingly.

"Yeah, but that's really bad, Mom."

"I know it was, and don't you be getting any ideas that it isn't." said the mother, nodding.


	7. Peeves and Potions

**Let us see what else Mel has in store for the rest of the school.**

**Disclaimer: This stuff belongs to J.K. Rowling and Annoying Brat (this is merely my own continuation of Annoying Brat's story and putting it into Rowling's setting) Please do not sue, I'm innocent, I tell you, innocent!**

We followed a prefect girl named Eve "Eagle-eyed" Porterson. She her auburn hair was cut short like a boy's and she had thin lips and blue eyes. Unlike Dumbledore's twinkling good-natured eyes, hers were piercing, cold, and hard as steel. True to her nickname, she seemed to have eyes in the back of her head. When I tried to go off into a stray corridor that looked like it lead to the potions room she snapped, "No wandering the corridors and stay close to me."

She led us down a dark dank stone staircase. It seemed to go on forever and went miles underground. Then, when it finally ended, we came out into a room that had tens of doorways on both sides.

We went through the first one on the right. When we went through that, we entered a corridor that had just as many doors as the hall did. We went left, then right, right again, left, it was so confusing. I had just stopped keeping track of all the twists and turns when Eve said, "Make sure you remember the way because I'm not likely to show it to you again. Also, if you're thinking of asking a fellow house member of perhaps an older grade forget it. As you will soon learn, we Slytherins are not the kindest of folk. It is likely that you will have enemies in your own house."she warned, in a tone thatmade one heed her."Those who are your friends are the only people whom you can truly trust and, therefore, the only people I suggest you ask for directions unless you want to get completely lost. Bottom line, remember where to turn."

"Wow. I'm glad I didn't learn that lesson the hard way." said Ann next to me.

I continued to keep track of the odd twists and turns we took from then on in. First left, ok first three lefts, then two rights, another left, two more rights, through the tapestry of the angry dog, then left. When I thought my feet couldn't walk another step we got to a large door-shaped portrait of a green double-headed snake, one head on each end.

"Passssword?"hissed the head on the top.

"Mortal dread" said Eve.

"Enter sssmall firsst yearss."hissed the head on the bottom.

The portrait swung forward revealing a large fire-lit room decked out in green and silver, the house colors. There were large leather green couches in the middle and some green winged chairs near the fire. There was a giant Slytherin crest in the middle of the stone floor. Between two of the couches was a large table and there were several wooden bookcases along the walls. Straight ahead were two staircases, one on the left and the other on the right. They both lead downward.

"Girl's dormitory is the first door down the right stairway and boys are the same on your left. Your things have already been brought to your beds."

The group split up, boys to the left, girls to the right, but everyone was dragging their feet due to tiredness. My legs felt like lead as I plopped down onto my bed. I immediately took off the uniform and got on my pjs. I had only just gotten the covers pulled over me when I was drifting off to sleep. "I think I'm going to like it here." I muttered to myself sleepily.

**RRIIIINNNNNGGGGG!**

My alarm clock woke me up at 8:00. I've never been a morning person and I wasn't about to start. I lazily pressed the sleep button.

Five minutes later it woke me up again. I was about to press it again five minutes later when Ann pulled the covers off of me.

"Get off!" I said, not hiding any of my annoyed feelings. "What are you, my mother!"

"No, but you'd better get up or you'll miss both breakfast and mail." she said firmly.

"Ugh. Alright, I'm up." I got up, yawning sleepily. I groaned as I put on my uniform. "I look like a bloody schoolgirl." I grumbled as I looked at myself in the mirror. They had a full-body mirror in the dorm. I guessed they didn't have one in the boy's dorm because they wouldn't care what they looked like. I only just had time to do a quick brush-through of my hair and quickly brush my teeth before Ann dragged me down, or rather should I say up, to the great hall. There we got our schedules with the mail. I couldn't believe my eyes when the mail came. Hundreds of owls came swooping in and dropped letters or packages in their owners lap. That day I got two letters. One contained my schedule and the other was a note from the twins.

Dear Jen,

That was a very funny trick you pulled but it wasn't funny for us. We've got three detentions thanks to your tip off last night. We hope you're happy because detentions around here are a lot worse than the muggle world. We also think you have something of ours and we would like it back because it's of no use to you. Watch your back.

Yours truly,

Fred and George Weasly

Only then did I remember that piece of paper I had stolen from then that night on the train. I had kept it in my pocket so I took it out. It looked like an old piece of paper to me but I assumed it must have some special magical power or they wouldn't have bothered asking for it back. I most certainly would not give it back, but I could give them a decoy and see what they did with it. I resolved to go ahead with the decoy plan on the weekend when I would have time to see what they would do with it.

* * *

"Oh, Mom, what is that paper? You know what it is, right?" inquired the daugher.

"Of course I know what it is, and I'll pass it down to you when you enter school." answered the mother, before continuing.

* * *

Then the classes begun. It was not the easiest thing to get to the classes because the main staircases liked to change. There were 142 staircases at Hogwarts as well as hidden stairways, ones that had a trick step half-way up that you had to remember to jump, and some that lead somewhere different on Tuesdays. Then the doors were another story. Some wouldn't open unless you asked politely and there were doors that weren't doors at all and just walls pretending to tick people off. The ghosts didn't help either. None of the ghosts, except the Bloody Baron, were at all helpful to the Slytherins. On my way to my second class that day I met Peeves the poltergeist.

Peeves was the very soul of mayhem in the castle, and he did it just for fun. All of the students hated him. As I was on my way down a twisting hallway I looked up to see two chalk-filled erasers floating in midair. I supposed that it was some sort of trick so I looked around. Ann, who was with me at the time, recognized it as Peeves at once.

"Peeves we're really late for class so can you please just leave us alone?" she said at the erasers. He suddenly appeared out of thin air. He looked like a small man with wicked dark eyes and a wide taunting smile.

"Nope. Can't let you through if you don't say the password." he retorted with an evil grin.

"So Peeves," I said to him, "You want us to say the password? Well here it is : 'the password'."

He looked like he had just swallowed a lemon.

"Ooh, a smart little firsty. Not too nice about it either. I'll have to teach you a lesson" and he started clapping the erasers all around us until we were almost as white as a ghost.

"Will you just stop this amateur prank already Peeves!" I yelled at him. "Really, erasers are second-grade. Can't you do any better?" That remark seemed to shock him. He backed away, looking impressed, and a little sore at being called and amateur.

"Well it seems I am in the presence of one who is learned in the art of pranking." he said, in a tone that could seem either insulting or admiring.

"Thanks. Now if you'll get out of my way and leave me alone for the rest of my time here I just might teach you a thing or two so you can upgrade from the second grade." Dusting myself and Ann off, I continued walking along my way. Truthfully having no idea where I was going, I politely asked the poltergeist which way the transfiguration classroom was. I took the chance because it looked like I was on his good side. For once in his life, Peeves actually gave correct directions.

"Wow. How did you do that?" Ann whispered to me as soon as we were safely in class.

"What? Oh, you mean degrade Peeves without ending up with bruises or gum in my hair and make him help us?" I answered, casually.She nodded in awe, her eyes slightly wide.

"No idea." Ireplied truthfully. I was somehow aware that I had just unintentionally taken on an apprentice.

As for the rest of the classes, easily the most boring subject was History of Magic, the only class that was taught by a ghost, Professor Bins. Needless to say, I was not at all interested in learning about goblin rebellions and the important figures in them. It did, however, prove to be the easiest class to use to talk to friends, or in my case the friend.

I soon learned that Ann had an older sister Jess who was in her last year at Hogwarts. That was where she had learned about the school and the teachers in them. From her I learned that Snape, the potions master, was head of Slytherin House and favored those in it. He also was after the job of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher and had been for a long time. I also learned that Filch could pop up anywhere and hated the students. There was also a rumor around that he was a squib, a muggle made from two magical parents.

I was the most interested in Charms class, seeing that it would be the most useful. We learned a spell called "wingardium leviosa" that made things levitate. The task we were asked to do was to levitate a feather until it was at least 3 feet above our desks. Hermy did it on the first try. What a showoff. Not too many people got the spell to work and Seamus fried his feather. He has a habit of making things blow up. On what seemed like the hundredth try I finally got mine to levitate. It only got a couple feet high when it fell back down. I decided to make Charms class my best. I would work extra hard on perfecting spells that were taught and those that I learned on my own.

* * *

"Did you really do extra work in school?" asked the young girl.

"Surprisingly, yes. I actually did fairly well in school, and I'm proud to say I never failed any of my exams. I'll tell you about a couple more classes, and the infamous Professor Snape."

* * *

Transfiguration wasn't my favorite. After Peeves helped me get there, I found out that McGonagall was really strict. We started out trying to turn matches into needles. It was a lot harder than it would sound. Ann did her transformation perfectly. Mine only went all silver and became a little pointy. I figured this spell might come in handy if I wanted to stop someone in their tracks. Might have to work on it.

On Friday we had double potions with the Griffindors. I wanted to see if what I had heard about him favoring us was true.

Potions class was in the dungeons. We still had to step over a small hole or two thanks to my, um, I mean, the twins' work at the start of term. There were pickled animals floating in glass jars all around the walls. Snape had slick greasy hair and stony eyes. He also wasn't one for small talk and had that strange ability of keeping a class silent without trying.

He started class with the role call, but stopped at Potter's name.

"Ah, yes. Harry Potter, our new celebrate." Malfoy and his body guards sniggered behind their hands. When he finished the role call, he looked up at the class and said, "You are here to learn the subtle science and exact art of potion making. Since there is no foolish wand-waving or silly incantations in this class, many of you will hardly believe this is magic. I don't expect for you to understand the beauty of the softly simmering cauldron bewitching the mind and ensnaring the senses. I can teach you how to bottle fame and brew glory, even stopper death. If you aren't as big a bunch of dunderheads as I usually have to teach." More silence followed this little speech and I looked around the class to see how others were reacting. Some looked impressed, others nervous, even others looked skeptical that they could really learn how to do all of those things he had just said. Hermy looked ready to prove that she wasn't a dunderhead.

"Potter!" said Snape suddenly. "What would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to and infusion of wormwood?" I knew the answer but wasn't about to volunteer it. Harry looked baffled at the question and Hermy's hand shot into the air.

"I don't know sir." said Harry slowly. Snape's lips curled into a sneer.

"Tut tut, fame clearly isn't everything." He totally ignored Hermy's hand.

"Snape's being really mean, isn't he, Mommy." said the young daughter.

"Yes he is. Believe it or not, he acts even worse." she answered, in a matter-of-fact tone. She continued her narration of Harry's interrogation.

"Lets try again, shall we. Where would you look if I told you to find me a bizuar?" asked Snape, with a cruel sneer on his face. Hermy continued to stretch her hand as high as it would go. Harry didn't know again, it was obvious from his look.

"I don't know sir."

"Thought you wouldn't open a book before coming here, did you Potter?" Harry seemed like he wanted to reply hotly that he had indeed looked through his book, but didn't say anything because he didn't want to get in trouble. Snape continued to ignore Hermy's quivering hand.

"What is the difference, Potter, between monkshood and wolfsbane?" Hermy stood up, at last, her hand stretching towards the sky and would have touched the ceiling if she had been taller.

"I don't know sir." said Harry again, this time quietly. "I think Hermione does though, why don't you try her." he said. I thought this bit was quite a bit more daring than the rest. A few people laughed, myself not one of them. Snape, however, did not find it as amusing as the rest of the class.

"Sit down." he snapped at Hermy. "For your information, Potter, asphodel and wormwood make a sleeping potion so powerful it is known as the Draft of Living Death. A bizuar is a stone taken from the stomach of a goat and will save you from most poisons. As for monkshood and wolfsbane, they are the same plant that also goes by the name of aconite. Well, why aren't you all copying that down!" he suddenly snapped at the rest of the class. Everyone rummaged for quills and paper. Over the noise Snape announced that a point would be taken from Griffindor for "your cheek, Potter".

I learned at least one important thing that lesson that I thought would come in handy later, Snape hated Harry Potter.

Things definitely didn't improve for the Griffindors or Potter during the rest of the lesson. Nevil melted his cauldron, spilling the potion everywhere. Most students began standing up on their chairs, getting out of the was of the festering material. Nevil, however, got drenched in the concoction and his face started erupting in boils.

"Idiot boy!" scolded Snape. "You probably added the porcupine quills before taking the cauldron off the fire." he said angrily. "You, Potter!" he said suddenly, turning to Harry and Ron, who had been working next to Nevil. "Why didn't you tell him not to add the porcupine quills! Thought he'd make you look good if he got it wrong, did you? That's another point you've lost for Griffindor. And Seamus," he snapped, "take Nevil up to the Hospital Wing to stop his wining." Nevil had been whimpering in pain.

"Yikes. Is he always this harsh on Griffindors?" I whispered to Ann.

"Well, not usually. It seems like he really doesn't like Harry. I wonder why." she replied.

The lesson was fairly uneventful after that, unless you count the fact that Snape favored Malfoy. What a teacher's pet. He was so eagre for the easy way out of work. In that matter, he was almost a boy after my own heart. You need good hard work in pranks, no doubt about that, but other than that ... lets just say the ends justifies the means.

Potter looked pretty bummed at losing two points for his house already. My guess was that he got off easy and Snape would have loved to turn two into twenty. He wouldn't have gotten away with it, though. The other teachers would probably gotten suspicious and asked what a new student could have done to lose that many points in a single lesson. His true reasons would probably be Harry's heartbeat and breathing.

"Well, I guess the rumor was true." I said to Ann on the way out the door. "Snape really does favor us."

We went down to dinner together and had another delicious meal.

"I hope I don't get used to this food," I said through a mouthful of chicken, "because I'll be real disappointed when I get home for the summer. By the way, Ann," I said after swallowing, "do you have any tips on making a piece of parchment look old?" I needed to make my decoy look authentic.

* * *

The inquisitive girl at her feet again erupted with curiosity. "A decoy, Mom?"

"Yes, dear. I made a decoy of that paper."

"Now will you tell me what it is?" she pleaded.

"Not yet." chortled the mother, continuing her tale.

* * *

"My mom taught me a technique about burning the edges, why?"Ann said curiously.

"Oh, no real reason. Think you could show me tonight?" I replied casually. I still had to keep my dealing secret.

"Um, sure. I don't see why not. But why do I have something of a bad feeling about this?" she said suspiciously.

"No idea. It's not like I'm up to no good. Really, Ann," I said, sounding hurt, "have I ever given you reason not to trust me?"

"No." she said, looking sorry.

"Great! I'm done, wanna show me now?" I said happily.

"Well, okay." she said, leaving a half-full plate to follow me down the stairs to the dungeons.

We walked down the seemingly endless corridors, arguing somewhat which turn to take and whether or not to turn, before we got to the portrait of the double-headed snake.

"Mortal dread" said Ann automatically.

"Thatssss wrong." hissed the top head.

"The password changes on Friday, remember. Pureblood." I said, correcting Ann.

"Lucky guessss." sneered the bottom head.

"Yeah, yeah. Just open up will ya?" I retorted.

The portrait swung forward and we both climbed in. It slammed shut behind us.

"Note to self: don't insult the door." I said to myself. "The last thing I want is to be on the wrong side of the gatekeeper."

Ann showed me how to burn the edges of paper to make it look old and I crumpled my decoy too. Finally, before going upstairs to bed, I put in a sealed envelop with a note that read:

Dear Weasly twins,

Sorry, I didn't know this grubby old piece of parchment was yours. I found it on the train and kept it as a spare. Well, here you go!

Yours truly,

Jen

"**yawn** I wonder what that dumb thing does anyways." I mumbled to myself as I slowly dropped off to sleep.

* * *

"What is it, what is it, what is it?" protested the young listener.

The mother answered ambiguously, "Patience, my dear. Patience."

* * *

**Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I was on vacation. What is that paper? You might know, but those of you who don't (which should be a very select few) you'll just have to wait. Happy reading (and please review)**


	8. Mischief Managed

**Well, here it is! Chapter 8. I hope you like it, but I don't know if anyone liked my other chapters because no one has reviewed. (hint hint) Please don't sue me, this is still J K Rowling's stuff.**

I woke up surprisingly early the next morning, judging by the fact that the only light was given by a fading moon. That always happens to me. I wake up late on weekdays and early on weekends. It drives me nuts. I got up about an hour later as the sun started to peek it's way out from the horizon.

I pulled on some ripped jeans and a black tee-shirt with a picture of an evil kitty with an ax that read "I'm a nice person. Come closer." I hated the uniforms so the weekend freedom was a good break. I grabbed the decoy letter and called Prankster away from the window. He seemed to prefer sleeping in the dormitory rather than the owlry.

"Listen, I need you to give this letter to those Weasly twins this morning. Just fly in their dorm window an peck them awake. They need an early start." Prankster nodded with what looked like an evil grin and flew out the window. It looked like I was starting to rub off on the little guy.

I went down to the common room with the real piece of parchment in my pocket and strapped my wand to my belt. Then, making sure no one else was up, I sped off to the Great Hall.

"Ouch! Get off me you stupid bird!" I heard Fred's groaning voice coming down the staircase.

I stood up and turned to face the twins, still in their pajamas, hurrying down the stairs looking not too pleased with the early wake up call. Prankster was still following them and pecking as he went. _It's pretty lucky nobody else is up yet. For the twins' sake._

"Will you call that bird off already!" said George angrily.

"Alright." I said, not hiding my disappointment. "Prankster, that's enough." Dejectedly, he flew over onto my outstretched arm.

"We got your letter." said George, looking over at Fred to finish.

"And it sounds too innocent." finished Fred.

"Would I lie?" I said, faking to be hurt at such a suggestion.

"We have proof of that." said Fred flatly.

"Alright, so I knew it was yours. At least I gave it back!" I said honestly. I have had too much practice lying to mess this one up.

"She's got us on that one, Fred." said George.

"Okay. Well, don't think we're done with you yet."retorted Fred. I just stared back expressionless.

_Well I'm not done with you either._ I thought evilly.

I didn't follow them immediately after they left the hall. It would have been too suspicious. Instead I waited a few minutes before tracking their footprints, which was not easy. I wound up in some odd room filled with trophies from since the school had started.

"I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good." There was a pause and then, " Dammit, why isn't it working!" I heard Fred's voice coming from a door right on my left. It was open a crack so I could see in. He was holding the decoy that I made of that piece of parchment.

"You're not saying it clearly enough!" said George angrily. "Here, let me try." he said, snatching the paper from his twin. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." he said, enunciating clearly and tapping his wand on the paper.

"I wonder what's wrong with it."said Fred curiously. "Hey, what was that?" heasked suddenly looking at the door. I had accidently made it creak a bit.

Immediately, I dashed as quietly as possible away from the door and the trophy room, afraid that I had been seen. I ended up somewhere at the other end of the school, but I was lost. Far enough away, I thought, to try to activate whatever that thing was. I took it out of my pocket and held it in front of me.

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." I said clearly, tapping drawer paper with my wand.

Red ink spread on the paper. It read, in some fancy calligraphy, "Messers Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs are proud to present the Marauders Map" The ink faded and then spread again forming a map of Hogwarts. It was no ordinary map, however. It showed all the people in their respective places. Small ink people with names accompanying them showed Snape pacing his office, and Filch prowling along the entrance to the forbidden third floor corridor. The map even showed secret passageways, some leading off the map. I saw myself in a hallway right off the main staircases. _Good, at least now I know where I am. Heh, looks like Fred and George have figured out about the switch._ I thought, observing their figures going down to the Great Hall. _So, Dumbledore's not in his office. _I thought, seeing a room I believed to be his office empty. _I wonder how you get up there. _I thought, a plan already forming in my mind.

* * *

"Mommy," said the girl knowingly, "what did you do to him?"

"A master never reveals her secrets." the woman replied, playfully smoothing her daughter's hair.

* * *

I skipped back to the Slytherin common room, my heart feeling light because of what I had done. I had been feeling very deprived lately. I grabbed some equipment needed for my new plan and used my new map to help me find the entrance to Dumbledore's office. There was a great stone gargoyle guarding the door.

"Great. Now what do I do!" I looked down at the map, wishfully hoping that it would show me the password or whatever I had to do to make that stupid gargoyle move out of my way. To my amazement, it did. I saw my little figure emit one of those talk bubbles from cartoons. Inside it was written "sherbert lemon".

"Wow. What the heck, I'll try it. Sherbert lemon!" I shouted at the gargoyle. To my astonishment the gargoyle sprung to the side away from the door. I checked the map again to make sure that no one was nearby or in his office and went inside.

It was an amazing sight to see. All sorts of contraptions both old and new were standing on little tables. There was a large desk with an armchair to rival any I had ever seen sitting behind it. The walls were lined with bookshelves and the entire room was covered with pictures of past headmasters. Most were simply snoring in their frames, although one or two were looking at me in interest. I noticed the sorting hat was perched on top of one of the shelves. Luckily there was a high ceiling.

* * *

"Why is a high ceiling good?" interrupted the young daughter.

"You'll see." answered the mother, grinning.

* * *

I rummaged through the desk looking for his wand. Secretly, I doubted that he would have left it in his office, but it was worth a try. I was very surprised when I found it at the bottom of a large drawer.

"Wizards are such trusting folk.." I said to myself, lifting it out. I closed everything I had opened and put everything back exactly as I found it, so it wouldn't look suspicious. I took out my equipment and my wand and went to work.

* * *

The girl interrupted yet again, exploding with curiosity. "What did you do to Dumbledore's wand?"

"I told you . . ."

"A master never reveals her secrets." the young girl finished.

* * *

About twenty minutes later I got off the desk and looked around to make sure nothing was out of place that shouldn't be. I was just about to leave when I heard footsteps just outside the door.

I quickly grabbed the map out of my pocket to see who it was. I saw the figure of an old man with the label "Albus Dumbledore" next to it.

"Shit." I said quietly to myself. This was not good. I quickly stuffed the map back in my pocket along with my equipment and glanced around for someplace to hide. Under the desk? No way, too obvious. Behind a bookcase? Like I can fit in there! I noticed a cabinet nearby and opened it wide. There was an almost empty shelf up high that I could climb up onto. It was very unlikely that he would see me up there unless he was looking for me. I climbed up and moved what little items there were on that shelf in front of me. The only problem was that I didn't have enough time to close the cabinet door before he came in.

"Ah, I must have forgotten to close that." he said absentmindedly. He seemed somewhat preoccupied, like his brain had been left somewhere else.

As he walked over to the cabinet, I held my breath. I didn't want to make any sound that might bring his attention to me. He must have been really out of it because he didn't even close it all the way. Thankfully those pictures on the wall didn't give me away. Dumbledore looked tired, like his brain power had been all spent. He slumped in his chair. I hoped to god he would fall asleep. Maybe he would leave. Something!

I began to stiffen up in my hiding place, but I didn't dare move. I kept my breathing as quiet as possible, hoping for any opportunity of escape. The old man looked like he was nodding off when there was a nock on the door. _Shit, company._ I thought in a whisper. I would have looked at the map to find out who it was, but I couldn't move.

"Professor," said an oily voice from the door, "I need to speak with you."

Dumbledore's head jerked up suddenly. He walked to the door, dragging his feet. He opened the door and let in (oh man, can my luck get any worse!) Snape.

"Come in, Severus." he said, sounding tired and looking older than usual.

"Forgive me, sir, but this is urgent. It's about Querril. I don't trust him. I think he's trying to steal it."

"My dear Severus, he helped protect it!"

_What on earth is "it" and why is "it" so special?_ I wondered to myself.

"Hmf." said Snape.

"What do I need to do to stop your silly suspisions?" Dumbledore said exasperated.

"Will you please allow me to keep a closer watch on him?" said Snape testily.

"Very well." he said, sitting down heavily in his chair.

"And will you try to remember this? Your Alzheimer's is getting worse every day." he reminded meaningfully. I had to try really hard to suppress a giggle. He was already asleep in his chair. Snape stomped out testily. As soon as the snoring began I got out of that cabinet as fast as I could without making a sound.

I slipped out of the door and, once outside, breathed a sigh of relief. I checked my watch. 8:30! God I must have been in there a long time. I stretched my limbs out, glad not to be cramped in anymore. I hurried down to the Great Hall for a quick breakfast. I had to avoid the Weaslys as much as possible. Didn't want a confrontation. It would be fun, but bad for the whole "secret troublemaker" thing.

I headed up to the common room and sat down on a comfortable couch. I knew I had to find a way to make the map blank so that it wouldn't be read by prying eyes. I looked at my little figure, hoping it would emit another talk bubble like last time. It did. I supposed the map shows the passwords on it's own. Definitely worth galleons. This time it read "mischief managed". _It sure is._ I thought.

"Mischief managed." I said, tapping the map with my wand

_What a long day. It seems like it should be evening and yet it's only morning. I guess I should get to work on charms homework. _I said, groaning. _I wish there was a spell to make homework do itself. Or maybe just make all homework disappear. Something useful like that._ I thought wistfully. I went upstairs to grab my bag. When I got there, my jaw dropped open and my eyes went as wide as humanly possible.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!" I yelled.

**And... that's it! Please review the story or I won't know whether to make another chapter or not! Still Rowling's stuff. Hope you like it! _Namarie_!**


	9. Topsy Turvy

**Well, hope I built up enough suspense with my last ending. Happy reading! cough and reviewing cough**

I looked in to see that I was standing on the ceiling. The room had been turned upside down! Ann, who was sitting on her bed above me was totally oblivious to that fact. It was as though there were two opposite fields of gravitational pull.

* * *

"Mommy, that's so weird." interrupted the girl.

"It was," agreed the mother, nodding with remembrance, "but not the weirdest thing that happened."

"What was the weirdest thing?" questioned the young girl.

"So many things happened, it's hard to rate them all." she answered, thinking. "In short, Hogwarts embodies the word weird. It's moto, 'Draco Dormiens Numquam Titillandus,' means 'Never tickle a sleeping dragon,' for goodness sake." The girl chuckled, allowing her mother to continue.

* * *

"Hey Jen. Sup? Um... why are you standing on the ceiling?" Ann asked curiously, totally unaware of what had happened.

"Ann, what did you do! I'm not upside down, you are!" I shouted, still as shocked as ever. I stood starring up at her, not believing what was before my eyes.

"Really?" she asked truthfully, "I had no idea. Wow, you're right." she said, walking over to the window and looking out to see the world upside down to what she believed was right.

"Ann, what did you try to do?" I said exasperated that she hadn't answered my question yet.

"Well, I was working on our charms homework and decided to try out that 'wingardium leviosa' charm on my quill. It didn't work, but I guess this is what it did." she explained.

"Oh. I don't know what you did wrong, but how are we going to fix it? I'm on one side of gravity and you're on the other! Do you think you could try to jump onto the ceiling? If you jump really high, I'll catch you."

"Alright. It's worth a shot." She jumped on her bed with her hands outstretched. I grabbed a hold on both of them.

"This is really weird." said Ann.

I would have fervently agreed with her if I wasn't busy holding on to her and trying to pull her into my gravity field, the one with the door. I clawed my way up to her waist and turned her around so her feet were firmly planted on the ceiling-floor-thing.

"Okay. That was the weirdest thing that has ever happened to me." I said, still a little shaken from pulling Ann onto my floor.

"Me too. Let's go get someone who can fix this."

We ran out the door and down the stairs.

"Um, don't go up there." I said to a fellow first-year girl, Rachel, who has large brown eyes and somewhat wavy auburn hair. She had been walking up the stairs to the dorm when I caught her.

"Why not?" she said, curiously.

"Well, the floor's the ceiling. The room's upside down. Do you know where we could find Snape?" I asked.

"I don't know for sure, but you could check the potions room." she said uncertainly.

_I could use the map..._ I thought hesitantly. I knew I could trust Ann, she was my best, and only friend after all, but I didn't know how she would feel about my pranks. I decided to risk it. I knew it had to come out sometime, she might as well hear it from me.

"Listen, Ann?" I said, as soon as Rachel was out of earshot, "I stole this map from the Weasly twins. It shows where everyone is in the castle."

"Really! That's awsome! Have you used it for anything yet?" she asked secretly.

"Well, I did something to Dumbledore, but that's it." I answered truthfully.

"Did something? Like a pank?" I nodded.

"Cool. How does it work?" she asked eagerly.

"You're not going to tell anyone? I mean, you're okay with what I do?" I asked hopefully.

"Of course I won't tell. What are friends for? And I'm totally okay with it on one condition."

"Oh boy. What's that?" I groaned, getting a bad feeling about it.

"You have to let me join in." she said matter-of-factly.

"Wow. Okay!" I agreed instantly. I was always looking for help, but it definitely wasn't the response I was thinking of.

"So how does it work?" She asked again. I took the map out of my pocket. Ann looked curiously at what seemed to her to be just a grubby old piece of parchment.

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." I said, tapping the paper with my wand. The ink spread on the paper like a spreading spider's web. As it did, Ann's eyes widened in amazement and awe.

"Cooool." she whispered. The map showed us that Snape was in the dungeons, a part that we had never visited, even by accident. He seemed to be pacing back and forth quickly.

We ran out of the common room and followed the map until we came to a magically locked door.

"Snape should be right behind this door." Ann said, consulting the map.

"Well,"I said uncertainly, "lets knock."

"Ummm, after you." said Ann nervously.

I cautiously knocked on the door softly. On the map, I saw him stop his pacing. The map!

"Mischief Managed!" I whispered hastily, stuffing the map into the closest pocket.

The door opened a crack, just enough for that old greasy snake to see who it was.

"Go away." he said icily. To most anyone, that voice would have chilled the bones and frozen the blood solid. But that was everyone else. I answered him just a icily and firmly.

"And what if we don't? We have a problem that we need you to attend to immediately."

"Hmf. What's the problem?" he answered coldly. He seemed to have given in.

"The dormitory's upside down." I explained. "A spell went wrong."

"Hm. I see. Lead the way." He opened his door enough to squeeze out and make sure we didn't see anything. I let it slide for now. I'd find out one way or another.

* * *

"What was he hiding?" interrupted the girl.

"How many times do I have to tell you," reprimanded the mother, "to have patience?" Looking downward, the young daughter pouted. Smiling, the mother ruffled her daughter's dark hair playfully before continuing.

* * *

We led the way back to the common room about half the way. Then we took a wrong turn and got lost so Snape insisted on leading the rest of the way. _Hmf. Won't let anyone do anything will he._ I thought to myself

When we got to our dormitory Snape was in the lead. He opened the door and stepped onto the ceiling. He looked around, seemingly annoyed at what Ann had done. _Sheesh, it was an accident._ I thought annoyedly. Then he stepped out, waved his wand and said something weird. All the furniture shifted to the ceiling so the room looked normal except for the fact that the ceiling was still the floor. I silently smirked to myself. _Aww, looks like he isn't as great as he thought he was. What a shame._ I thought sarcastically.

"You will be able to fix it, won't you?" I asked somewhat smugly.

"Yes, I will be able to fix it Miss Jen." he replied angrily. " It's a two-part spell, or were you not smart enough to figure that out?" He asked cooly. I just smiled up at him, a normal smile, hiding the true resentment I felt. _Ooh, you're going to wish you never said that._ I thought, already plotting my revenge.

After the second part of the spell had been completed, more words and another wave of the wand, the dormitory looked like it always had.

"Th-thank you."said Ann hesitantly.

"Hmf." he replied and strutted away. Ann and I went down to the common room after I had gotten my charm's homework.

"Wow." I said coldly, as soon as that vile serpent Snape had left the common room. "Look who's Mr. Cheerful today."

"How can you say that after he just helped us?" Ann said reproachfully.

"Easily." I replied coldly. "He's a born jerk, what do you expect? Also, he didn't seem too eagre to help out if I remember correctly." I retorted.

"Your memory is as good as ever." she said. "Now," she said excitedly, changing moods more quickly than I thought humanly possible, "tell me what you did to Dumbledore? You'll get in so much trouble if you're caught, you know."

"I know, and you'll find out soon enough. I want you to be as surprised as the rest of the school." I said playfully. "You wouldn't ruin the surprise, would you?" Happily, she shook her head.

"The only reason I'm letting you get away with not telling me is that it must be really good."

"Oh, it is." she said, an evil smile spreading on her face. "It's really good."

* * *

"Oh Mom can't you just tell me already?" whined the girl.

"No, not yet." the mother grinned, enjoying fully her daughter's suspense. "But soon."


	10. Dumbledore's Surprise

**Well, no reviews as usual. Everyone likes my Inu fanfic. Not that that's bad! I just wish people would read this one considering how long I've worked on it. (Sniff) I'll be okay. (goes and cries in a corner) (Amaya, stop being so naive) Oh, okay. Here's the story(if you care)!**

**RRIIIINNNNNGGGGG!**

The alarm clock rang loudly at 8:00, waking me from the randomest dream. I turned over lazily and shut it off. _Damn thing won't let me get a wink of sleep._ After about half an hour of Ann poking me relentlessly I finally got up. I rolled the covers away from me and sat up, looking angrily at Ann. She glared back at me. We continued this starring contest for only a second before we both burst out laughing.

"Ha! I don't know why that was funny, but it was hilarious!" I said loudly.

"Tell me about it. At least you're up." she replied, wiping a tear from her eye, "You told me I would find out what happened in the morning so I couldn't wait!"

"Oh right!" my eyes sparkled maliciously as I remembered the prank. Even as I look back on it now, I think it might have been one of my most dangerous and most rewarding tricks. With that in mind, I got ready as quickly as I could, which only took about 5 minutes. My mother could never understand why it took me so long to get ready for school in the morning. The reason was absolutely nothing to look forward to.

"Wow, that was quick. You sure you won't tell me what it is?" asked Ann.

"No! Don't spoil it!" I insisted. _God, she's pestered me ever since she found out. Well, I suppose she has a good reason, but still._ We power-walked down to breakfast.

When we arrived, none of the teachers were at their places at the head table.

"Wow, that good huh?" whispered Ann in awe.

"Oh yeah." I affirmed, smiling with unbelievable satisfaction.

One by one, some of the teachers began to file into their places. Snape, Querrel, Flitwick, some other teachers, and Hagrid. Neither Dumbledore nor McGonagall showed up all breakfast. Then, just as the first bell rang, McGonagall stormed in the Great hall. Her hair, which was usually in a tight bun, was messy and looked like it had been done in a hurry.

"No one shall leave this hall until we have found the culprit." she projected angrily. She walked quickly up to the head table and stood in front of it with the expression of an extremely forced calm. "Professor Dumbledore's wand," she paused to look around at everyone in the hall; a tense silence was everywhere. "has been stuck to his ceiling by the use of a muggle adhesive strengthened by magic. No person, staff or otherwise, has been able to retrieve it."

* * *

The girl at her feet gasped at the news. "Really?"

"Really." the mother confirmed.

"Did they ever get it down?" she asked in awe.

"Yes, eventually." she answered. "But not until they had other things to worry about." she concluded, leaving her daughter to wonder.

* * *

Everyone in the hall looked around at their peers with mixed expressions. Some were smiling with amusement, others were looking nervous, and even others seemed impressed. However, all eyes seemed to linger slightly on Fred and George Weasly. The twins' eyes were darting around the room, trying to find out who had really done it, sure that if they didn't have a finger to point at someone, they would be blamed.

"This," she continued, "is a serious offense. Charges brought against the person will be severe, and would almost definitely result in expulsion from this school. And if anyone," she looked expectantly around the room hoping for some look of betrayal, "has any information as to the perpetrator, they will be awarded Special Services to the School." Now every look contained amazement. "And no person is leaving this room until that wand is retrieved and the culprit revealed. Now sit down!" she snapped. There was the unified sound as hundreds of students sad back down immediately.

"I have to send an owl requesting help. I will return immediately, and no talking." She walked out just as suddenly as she had come, her shoes clicking rhythmically on the floor. The door to the great hall swung open as she left, and slowly creaked shut. Slowly, slowly, every creak resounding around the hall, and then, the moment it clicked shut. . . the hall was in an uproar of voices, students and teachers. Nothing of this magnitude had ever happened at Hogwarts and would not happen again for some years.

"So, you won't rat me out, will you? Ann?" I whispered hastily.

"What are best friends for?" she answered reassuringly.

"So, how long do you think this will hold out? Staying here I mean."

"No idea. Someone will have to be able to get it down. I expected, when I heard what happened, that one of the teachers surely would be able to get it down. What did you use anyway?"

"Shhh!" I looked around nervously. I knew that if anyone ever found out I had done it they would report me immediately. Noone seemed to have heard. "That's a secret. I hope this'll at least hold out till midterms. But I doubt it."

The whole hall was buzzing with intrigue and curiosity. I personally made a point of going over to the Griffindor table and asking Fred if they had anything to do with it, putting on my best mask.

"No we did not! My brother and I would never do anything that serious. Why does everyone keep asking us that!" he shouted, angrily. As I left, I heard several more voices asking the same question. The twins were close to screaming in denial.

I made my way back to my table and Ann. Noone remained seated after the supervision had stopped interfering. We continued to chat absently, sometimes betting on how long it would last, speculating on who would be able to fix it, and other things. Absentmindedly, I grabbed some of my books out of my bag, which I had with me for class. I grabbed my potions book and started looking up random things, such as sleeping potions, temporary numbing potions, ones for boils, and various antidotes. Ann joined me later in looking up and copying down useful concoctions for future ideas.

_I didn't think I did that good a job._ I thought, staring out into space, _Mixing potions, charms, and muggle adhesive can't be that complicated. If they don't get it down soon I might actually help them. Poor ignorant teachers, to be outdone by a student, first year too. I wonder, if I help them they might be too happy to have it back to press charges. Still, don't think I'll risk it._ I finished copying down the brewing instructions for a potion that would make your body temporarily invisible, and looked over to see how Ann was doing.

I was just looking over her shoulder when Peeves popped out from under the table right in front of me. Several students nearby squealed, others looked angrily at the poltergeist, assuming he had come to cause some mischief.

"What do you want, Peeves?" I said dryly.

"Who wants to know?" he said in his irritating cackle.

"Me. Now what is it?" I replied coldly.

"I wants to know when and where to meet you." he replied. "I have to learn from the master." he whispered in my ear. I smiled slightly, remembering the incident.

"Very well." I thought about where would be best to teach my art. It was going to be interesting, I had never taught mischief before. "In the potions room," I replied, a plot already forming in my mind, "at 10:00."

"I will be there." he answered, in as close to a submissive tone as such an arrogant poltergeist could get.

* * *

"What did you teach him? What did you make him do?" The small girl enquired, bobbing up and down in her seat.

"You'll see, you'll see." the mother replied.

"But I want to see now!" she pouted.

"Patience, my dear, patience. How many times do I have to tell you to have patience?" she reprimanded.

"A lot." the girl agreed. "But could you please continue with the story?" she pleaded, doing her best puppy eyes. Her mother chuckled a little before proceeding.

* * *

Peeves disappeared as suddenly as he had come. Just as he left, I was bombarded by the other students, anyone who had been withing earshot, regardless of house.

"What was that?"

"Hey, what just happened?"

"What's at 10:00?"

"Did Peeves just listen to you?" People were leaning across tables and making a chaotic circle around me. Voices were jumbled, overlapping each other left and right.

"Come on, tell us!"

"I'm serious, what happened?"

"Did I miss something?"

"What's going on!" McGonagall's booming voice resounded brilliantly with the Great Hall's acoustics. Every voice was immediately silenced, every person was frozen, and all eyes were on the red-faced headmistress. For the first and only time in my life, I silently thanked God for that woman. For the first and only time in my life she had saved me from something unpleasant. And for the first and not the last time in my life, I saw her truly furious.


	11. Of Broomsticks and Balls

**Well, I guess I should be used to no reviews by now. Sigh. Here's chapter 11. I guess I just like writing too much to take it off.**

Professor McGonagall stood at the entrance to the Great Hall in an obvious state of perplexity and aggravation. She was unkept, tired, and faced with two seemingly impossible problems, one was getting the headmaster's wand off the ceiling and the other to get a confession out of the student responsible.

"I have informed the Minister of Magic as to the situation. He is here and helping as best he can, which is not much. I must impress on the person responsible the seriousness of what he or she has done. The entire school is in an uproar and no doubt the Daily Prophet will somehow get word of it. This is absolutely embarrassing to the school and especially the headmaster. This whole affair is terrible, a hassle, and a dreadful bother to all involved. It is also insufferable and it may prove impossible to retrieve the Headmaster's wand!" She began muttering to herself, "Duct tape, who on earth would use _duct tape_!" She stood in thought and indecision for a moment before speaking again. "I suppose you can go to your second period classes. We mustn't let this interfere too much with our daily life." There was a tense moment when everyone in the hall remained seated, still somewhat undecided as what to do. "Go on, out!" McGonagall shouted, waving her arms like a confused windmill.

A shuffling of books and papers replaced the uncomfortable silence at once. I shoved mine and Ann's notes and my potions book back into my bag. The overlapping screeching as chairs were pushed away from the tables filled the hall. There was a gigantic rush as everyone took the same main passages to their classes. The first year Slytherins and Griffindors took the main doors out to the grounds and to our first lesson in flying broomsticks.

* * *

"Mom, did you really _fly_ on a broomstick like those cartoon witches?" the little daughter interrupted.

"Yes, dear, I did. It was the most wonderful feeling." the mother replied, reminiscing slightly. "You'll get to fly too. But before you bombard me with more questions," she said, holding up a finger as the girl opened her mouth to speak, then closed it quickly, "let me tell you about my first experience."

* * *

I was very exited, I had never imagined such a thing truly existed in places other than old story books and the Wizard of Oz. I followed the rest of the class, hoping they had some idea where they were going. We all walked around the castle to a field near the quiditch pitch. Waiting for us was two lines of old-looking brooms and a woman who looked like she had to be the teacher. She had harsh yellow eyes, spoke in a snapping way, had cropped short greyish hair, and reminded me of a hawk at first glance. She was wearing grey robes open in the front with a black layer under it, reminding me of a referee, especially with a small silver whistle dangling from her neck on a thin chain.

"Welcome to your first flying lesson. My name is Madam Hootch. Now, everyone step up to your broom on the right side. Good, now put your right hand over the broom and say 'up'." she commanded.

There was a chorus of "up"s as everyone tried to make their broom fly into their hand. Harry and Malfoy succeeded on the first try, but most everyone's didn't work. Mine worked on about the fifth try.

"With feeling!" Madam Hootch shouted. A few more brooms flew into the air. Hermy's, to my satisfaction, just rolled around on the ground.

"Now we'll try mounting them." she comanded, once most had their brooms handy. "Swing your right leg over the broom. When I blow my whistle, kick the ground sharply with your heels. Rise up a few feet, then lean slightly forward and touch back down. Ready?"

By this time all the brooms were up off the ground with riders on each of them. Malfoy looked this was nothing more than a walk in park, something everyday, no big deal. Others were not quite so calm. A few looked eager to get off the ground and didn't want to have to wait to long. Some students appeared nervous about flying, and would much rather prefer to stay on the nice hard solid ground. I was one of the eager ones. Flying was very new to me, I had only been on one plane trip that I could remember, when we moved to England last year. Nevil Longbottom looked terrified about the whole ordeal. The next event proved it.

Just as Madam Hootch touched the whistle to her lips, not even making a sound yet, and he began to rise off the ground. It wasn't long before his broom was out of control, spiraling and barrel-rolling all over the grounds. The class was in an uproar, looking this way and that following the figure of the screaming boy, as though they were watching a tennis match. In a short time, although it must have felt like ages to Nevil, the broom hit one of the castle walls, knocking him off and sending him falling about twenty feet to the ground. He landed on his wrist and there was a sickening crunching cracking sound as his weight came down on it. Everyone ran to him, some out of interest rather than concern.

Madam Hootch lifted him up gingerly, confirming that his wrist was broken. She announced that she would be taking Nevil to the Hospital Wing and that:

"Any person who is caught flying will be out of Hogwarts before they can say 'quiditch'."

* * *

"And let me guess," interrupted the girl, "someone started flying."

"Now, don't ruin the surprise." the narrator answered, putting a finger to her lips in the universal symbol for silence.

* * *

Nevil walked with Madam Hootch away from the field cradling his arm carefully.

Malfoy, unscathed and unaffected by the incident, stooped carelessly to pick up some odd sphere with grey smoke swirling around in it. I turned my attention to him because trouble seemed to always travel in his wake. He was always one for snide comments.

"Look, the great oaf dropped his Rememberall. Maybe if he had given this thing a squeeze he would have remembered to fall on his fat arse." A few Slytherins chuckled slightly.

"Give it here Malfoy." Harry demanded, walking up to confront Malfoy fearlessly. He seemed like a good honest kid, if you like that kind of a guy. Malfoy tauntingly threw the small orb up in the air and caught it again with one hand, the other still holding his broom.

"No. I think I'll leave it somewhere for Longbottom to find." he said, mounting his broom and kicking off. "How about the tallest tree in the Forbidden Forest?" Every head was turned upward as Malfoy flew up away from the group.

"What's the matter, Potter? Bit beyond your reach?" He called, tossing up and catching the smoke-filled ball again. Harry rashly grabbed for his broom and made to mount it, but his arm was caught by Hermy.

"Harry, no way. You'll get expelled!" Harry jerked his arm away and flew off to confront Malfoy up in the air. "What an idiot." She said to herself as her eyes followed Harry's progress through the air. For his first time flying he was a real natural at it. Effortlessly, he flew up so he was eye to eye with Malfoy.

"Give it to me or I'll nock you off your broom!" Harry threatened. Malfoy only looked skeptically in return. Just to show him he meant business, Harry made a fake lunge just past Malfoy. On the ground some girls gasped in surprise.

Then Harry said something to Malfoy that I couldn't quite hear, they were up at such a high altitude. Whatever he said, it made the snob look a bit more nervous. Malfoy said something undistinguishable in reply and threw the ball behind him. Quickly he dove to the ground as not to be spotted. Harry went into a similar but far more steep dive after the Rememberall. He got closer and closer to the ground, slowly catching up the flying orb. He was ten feet from the ground and wasn't slowing down at all. Five feet and still falling, faster. Everyone was holding their breath, myself included. He looked like he was going to crash face-first into the ground at full speed, but he stopped the dive a split second before he would have hit and jumped off the broom, clutching the Rememberall in his upheld hand.

As he ran towards the group, everyone except Malfoy and his body guards were cheering, myself included. I had never seen someone handle a broom like that, especially on his first go. Harry was getting an unnumberable amount of high-fives and pats on the back. Common comments were "Great job, Harry!" and "Wow, that was wicked Harry!". It was a time of celebration until it was interrupted by a stern voice and a presence that had been overlooked by all.

"Harry Potter!" Professor McGonagall called. She walked across the grounds briskly. She was more refreshed, her hair properly up with her face set in her usual stern look. "Follow me." she commanded. Dismally, Harry followed, looking intently at his shoes.

Everyone assumed the worst.

* * *

"Was Harry expelled?" her daughter asked, eyes wide in surprise.

"You should know the answer to that question." the mother answered, pushing a piece of brown hair behind her ear before continuing.

* * *

"He's going to get expelled for sure." said Pansy Parkinson, a fellow Slytherin I had taken a distinct dislike towards. She always followed Malfoy, agreeing with every idea and thought he ever had.

"No he won't! Well, maybe." said a Griffindor boy.

"McGonagall saw him flying and you heard Madam Hootch. He should have stayed on the ground when I warned him." said Hermy.

"I don't care what happens to that saint Potter. If I never see him again, it'll be too soon." retorted Malfoy maliciously.

"Don't make fun of Potter! That's my job!" I argued. I wasn't used to defending people, but I felt the sudden urge to support Harry. Like I said, Malfoy doesn't make fun of people. That's my job.

"What?" Malfoy replied, looking at me stunned.

"You heard me, don't bash Potter."

"Make me." he answered, snidely. God, I hate when people make responses I would.

"THAT'S IT!" I whipped out my want and pointed it at Malfoy's neck threateningly.

"No!" Ann shouted and tried in vain to lower my arm. "He's not worth it!"

"Worth what?" I growled. I slowly advanced on Malfoy, dangerously poking my wand into his Adams apple. He backed away into a wall. Now was my chance. I poked his neck again, using my wand like a knife. Everyone was giving us distance, even his cronies, and every person could feel the tension. Slowly I lowered my wand and he relaxed under a false sense of security. I kicked him where it hurts, really hard.

He fell over in pain, rolling helplessly on the ground. I burst out laughing, he looked hilarious. Almost everyone else was laughing at Malfoy. He was curled up in the fetal position, moaning in agony. _Point and laugh, that's right. Point and laugh. You deserve this humiliation._ Crabb and Goyle went to help him up. With support, he was barely able to stand, with his thighs still glued together. He chanced a glare at me. I just waved cheerily back, positively grinning with satisfaction. His bodyguards brought him over to another part of the field where he could recover.

The laughter slowly died out. Small talk ensued and everyone was bored again. Once able to walk again, Malfoy returned to the group. Some people still sniggered at the sight of him.

"That was so funny the way you set it up," Ann remarked.

"He deserved it too," I agreed.

"So what's going to happen with you and Peeves tonight," she asked, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

"He'll help me set up something," I replied.

"Come on, won't you tell me what's up," she whined.

"Was the last surprise good?" I protested.

"Yes," she agreed with a defeated tone.

"Exactly," I said, trying to close the matter.

"But last time you gave me a hint, didn't you," she persisted.

"Well, yes but," I resisted.

"But nothing,"Ann interrupted. "Tell me at least who's going to get the end of it."

"Fine, fine," I relented, pausing for effect. After a moment, she egged me on.

"Well, who!"

Looking around first, I whispered in her ear, "Potter."

"What!" she yelped in surprise. "After,"

"Shhh!" I shushed her.

She began again in a whisper, "After you just stood up for him like that?"

"Hey," I answered defensively, "I didn't stand up for Potter. I just told off Malfoy for picking on him."

"You stood up for him, Jen. Admit it!" she coaxed.

"No! I did **not**stand up for Potter!" I yelled.

Whoops, that was too loud. Everyone heard me, making the grounds go suddenly quiet. Not even a bird chirping was to be heard. _I'm never going to live this down, am I,_ I thought dejectedly.


	12. Lesson 1: The Art of Framing

**This next chapter is only for those HP fans out there, my friends, who read this. No reviews, as usual.**

To my luck, the bell rang shrilly, carrying to all parts of the castle and grounds. During the rest of the day, I began planing. Well, actually, not began, rather continued finalizing my plans. Ann and I passed some befuddled teachers in the hallway, whispering to themselves.

"We could try just soaking the adhesive in water." protested the teacher of Muggle Studies. "That's what works with muggle tape."

"Whoever did it obviously enforced the adhesive with some unbreakable charm." argued Professor Flitwick.

I had to work hard to resist the urge to snigger at them. Teachers can be so stupid sometimes.

The rest of the day went by swiftly, with Ann constantly bugging for more hints.

"Please?" she pleaded at lunch.

"No, no, and for the thousandth time, no!" I snapped back.

"Please? Just tell me what room?"

"No!"

Ann and I stayed up together until quarter-to 10, when I had to leave. She continued to pester and badger me throughout the night. We were going back and forth, her "please"s and my "no"s, as I backed out of the hole in the wall. I shut the door on her irritating voice.

The potions room really wasn't that far away, but I allowed for time to get lost. I didn't bring the Marauder's Map, afraid it might be discovered. I used up all of my extra time, spending the next fifteen minutes wandering around the gloomy stone corridors. I finally reached the great wooden door I was looking for, five minutes late.

"You're late." Peeves protested, as soon as I entered the room.

"I still need to get the hang of this castle." I answered, shutting the door behind me.

"So, what will I be learning today?" he asked, impatiently. I thought a moment before deciding how to catagorize what we were set out to do.

"Lesson 1: The Art of Framing." I said, matter-of-factly. The poltergeist's eyes glittered maliciously.

"Who's the target?" he questioned.

"Potter." I answered expressionlessly, getting out some supplies from my bag: my wand, several small vials of oddly-colored potions, and a small piece of paper with notes scribbled on it. "Now it's time to watch a master at work."

* * *

"Now, I suppose you think I'm going to tell you all about it, don't you?" she asked, tauntingly. Her daughter nodded her head eagerly. She laughed, amused at the anxious look on the girl's young face.

"A true artist never reveals her secrets." she said, waving her index finger scoldingly. The young girl looked downward, sadly. The mother laughed again. "Don't worry," she said, reassuringly, "I'll tell you everything in due time. I want you to figure things out on your own."

"But why can't you tell me now?" she whined.

"Later." her mother answered. "But do you want to hear what the result was?" The young girl's head bobbed up and down energetically. "Very well." she said, before continuing her narrative.

* * *

Both Peeves and I worked late into the night. Often, teachers passed the room in the process of patrolling the corridors. To make sure we weren't interrupted, Peeves would erupt into his normal noisy antics. Sometimes, the footsteps would pause for a moment at the door, but they always continued on their way, clicking methodically down the corridor.

Finally, wiping a little sweat off my brow, I breathed a deep sigh of relief.

"Alright, Peeves, pack up. We're done." On my command, Peeves replaced all the articles we had used in their respective places. He straitened the desks we had pushed to the side for more working space and cleaned up any small drop of potion left, except the necessary ones. When we left, the room looked almost exactly as though noone had been there. It was the "almost" that made the plan perfect.

"I hope you learned some valuable tricks today, Peeves?" I said, looking expectantly at the little man bobbing upside down at my eye level.

"Some tricks, yes." he answered. "But I hope the next lesson can be more useful in _everyday _life." He pouted his lips testily at me.

"Alright, you want better tips on terrorizing the students, correct?" I replied. He nodded silently. "Next time, but only if you'll give me your _word_ that you won't use anything I teach you on either myself or my friends."

Peeves simply glared at me. I glared back. We stayed there, locked in our staring contest, for some minutes. It was only broken when I yawned, covering my mouth with the back of my hand.

"Look," I said finally, "we can stay here all night, but I'd really rather not. Just give me your word, for whatever its worth, and we can both go to bed."

"Fine." Peeves pouted. "You have my word." I smiled tiredly, slinging my bag over my shoulder and turned to leave.

I listened at the door for footsteps and heard none. Cracking the door open, I poked my head out and looked both directions before deeming it safe to leave the potions room. Moving as quickly and quietly as possible, I hurried down the passageways that led to the common room. Thankfully, I had memorized the correct way to get back.

"Pureblood." I said loudly, waking the disgruntled double-ended snake from what seemed to be a sound sleep.

"What're you doing up thissss late?" hissed the top head.

"Just open up, will 'ya?" I snapped, very irritable because it was so late.

"No need to be sssso upsssset." the bottom head replied testily as the portrait swung forward.

I climbed into the common room to find it deserted. A few remaining coals still glimmered faintly in the grate. Scuffing my feet, I dragged myself over to the entrance of the girl's dormitory. But then, I felt as though I was being watched. I instantly turned on my heel to find . . .

"Malfoy." I said coldly, my eyes already narrowing into suspicious slits.

* * *

"Oh no!" the little girl gasped. "You were caught!"

"Now don't go jumping to conclusions," her mother scolded, "and let me continue my story."

* * *

"Jen." Draco replied, his grey eyes flashing. His light hair hung lazily about his face. He wore a dark green satin bathrobe that fell loosely around his slim frame and matching satin slippers. Draco was looking at me smugly, like a little kid who had just gotten the cookie jar down where he could reach it, leaning against one of the tall armchairs by the fireplace.

"What are you doing, staying awake all this time." I spoke, doing my best to sound casual.

"I should be asking you the same thing." he retorted, now glaring at me.

"I had something to do."

"Oh really?" Malfoy answered skeptically. "It must have been very important," he remarked, his tone rising, "seeing as it's one o'clock in the morning."

"It simply couldn't wait." I replied, trying to keep a resenting growl out of my voice. "Now why don't you get off to bed, Malfoy," I growled, in spite of my efforts, "and we'll forget about this little incident."

"No, I don't think that's going to work." he said, casually thumbing his nose at me. "I think," he stood up strait and started advancing toward me, "you're going to tell me all about your little plot," Malfoy's voice raised threateningly, "unless you want me to tell Snape about your nighttime wanderings. And trust me," he was now very close to me, almost whispering in my ear, "he's not always kind to Slytherins."

I backed away from him quickly and cautiously, still eyeing him suspiciously.

"What can I do instead of telling you what I was up to?" I asked, hopefully. Malfoy's eyes narrowed, and he looked as though he was about to say 'nothing' when I blurted out, "Twenty questions!"

He scrunched his face up as though he had just smelt something particularly fowl.

"What kind of ignorant child do you think I . . ."

"You get to ask me twenty yes-or-no questions." I interrupted, continuing to think quickly. "If, after the end, you can't figure out what I did, you lose and have to go to bed. If you figure it out before the twenty questions are up, you get exactly what you stayed up for."

"Never in a million," he started, but I interrupted him again.

"What?" I taunted. "Don't you trust your own wits?" Malfoy glared at me, but he couldn't resist a challenge.

"Alright." he consented. "First question: what room did you stay in all this time?"

"I'm not going to answer that! I said _yes-or-no_ questions. But you just wasted you first one. Nineteen left, so use them wisely." I answered.

"Very well." he grumbled. "Were you in the dungeons?"

"Yes. Eighteen questions." I was counting every used question out loud, hoping it would intimidate him a little.

"Were you in the potions classroom?" he asked.

"Yup. Seventeen questions left." I replied.

"Were you concocting some sort of joke or prank?"

"Yes."

"With Peeves?"

"Uh huh." I affirmed, with a nod. "Fifteen questions left."

"Is Snape at the end of the joke?"

"No, I'm not stupid enough to do something to a teacher." I answered. _Well, actually I did something to Dumbledore, but I wouldn't attempt something of that magnitude again so soon._ I thought.

"Alright then," Malfoy seemed to be thinking, but with him you couldn't tell, "Is Snape somehow involved?"

"Yes. That leaves only thirteen questions."

"Am I the butt of the joke?"

"Nope, not you." I replied, shaking my head a little. _Not this time, anyways_.

"Are either Crabb or Goyle the butt of the joke?"

"I could discredit that question under technicality, but the answer's no. Eleven questions left." I said, yawning a little. "And hurry them up, I want to get to bed."

"I'll take as long as I want." he growled. "Next question: are any other Slytherins getting the bad end of the prank."

"No. Half of the questions gone and half left." I reminded him.

"I know. I can count too, 'ya know." he retorted, very irritated.

"Someone's cranky."

"Yeah, well, you would be too if you'd been sitting in an empty room for hours waiting up for someone you don't even like." Malfoy complained. "Anyone from Ravenclaw involved?"

"No."

"Hufflepuff?"

"Nope." I answered. "Only eight left."

"Anyone in Griffindor?"

"Yes! Wow, Malfoy," I said, playing with his irritability, "that's the sixth question you've gotten a 'yes' answer."

"Will you shut up!" he yelled.

"Oh, so now you don't want to know what I was doing?" I teased.

"Yes, I do, but . . . oh forget it!" he shouted, throwing his arms into the air in defeat. "I'm to tired to deal with you anymore." Malfoy stomped into his dormitory, grumbling, and forcefully slammed the door behind him.

* * *

"So your, um, 'skills' at annoying people actually payed off?" the young daughter asked, sounding more than a little surprised.

"Yes they did, and more than once." the mother answered.

"You said you were going to tell me the results of your efforts." complained the small girl. "So why haven't you told me yet?"

"That's next." she replied. "Just have a little . . ."

"Patience, I know." finished the girl. "So, hurry up!"


End file.
